Movies Brought to You in Full ADHD

So I’m sitting with the family on this fine Labor Day (why I didn’t post earlier…sorry guys), and we started talking about TV and movies (you know the usual stuff at family gatherings). Eventually, the conversation ended up on the Bourne Trilogy, and my brother brought up something that my wife and I had talked about before.

“What’s up with the shaky camera?”

I’m not sure who thought the shaky camera was a good idea. I mean, if I want to see a video with a shaky camera, I’ll had the camera over to my dad, and he can record our family gatherings. And I expect that from a home movie.

What I don’t expect to see, is professionals…people paid thousands of dollars to shoot a film, and then purposefully try to make you seasick because they think it makes the movie “seem more real.” Because everyone has a dad that shoots movies with a shaky camera, so that’s what makes it real, right?

Or is it the fact that our attention spans have gotten so out of whack that younger audiences “need” the shaky camera to pay attention. Because after all, if they just had to pay attention to just the dialogue, then they might just loose interest.

So we’ve gotta shoot a movie like my dad was behind the camera, or have crap coming atcha, otherwise, its just not “real” enough for the audience.

Are our attention spans really this bad? How did we get here? Can we ever go back?

If you read this thing, you know that I’m a “take time to take it easy” kind of guy. I can be intense when I work with people, but generally, I encourage people to take time for what’s important. It seems as though in the cases of both the Bourne series and Cloverfield, that the shaky camera did nothing but nauseate the audience.

Advertising tries so hard to get our attention, and then tries to keep it, so it changes the game over and over again.  What results is an oversaturation of advertising to the point where we just don’t care anymore.

So let me ask you this: Are you doing what you intend to do, or are you doing something and getting differet results? We all have the best of intentions, but you know, life is so full of distractions, we can’t possibly get on all of them, can we?

I beg to differ. See we get distracted because we allow ourselves to be distracted (except for those who legitimately have biological ADHD). What is the opposite of distraction? Focus!

So how do we focus?

1. Get clear about what you want. Write a list (I have to at least once a day, and I hate lists), and prioritize what’s important. Yeah, I know, if you’re like me, you don’t want to, but then again, if you don’t want to turn those intentions into reality, keep doing what you’re doing.

2. What can you take action on? Any of it? All of it? What’s the easiest and best course right now? My old life coach told me to put numbers on each side of the list. On the left, scale 1-10 in Time Investment, with 1 being the least amount of time, and 10 being the most amount time. Then on the right, scale 1-10 in Results, using 1 as the least results, and 10 being the most results.

3. Pick the item that takes the least amount of time, and would net you the most results. Take that thing and do it. Don’t get caught up with a bunch of items, just do one. That way you can get the most results, with the least action, and feel dang good about what you just did.

Don’t be the shaky camera. Point your camera at your subject and shoot it so people don’t get sick when they look at what you’ve done.

What do you think? I’m all ears.

Joe Pantoliano Goes Live To Reduce The Stigma Of Mental Illness

 

In case you didn’t know, the guy in the pic above is Joe Pantoliano, more commonly known as Joey Pants (though I remember him best as Cypher from the Matrix).  Now this post isn’t about me being a fanboy, because there are plenty of other people I could be a fanboy about (like Johnny Depp, Jason Statham or Ray Park). Fact is, he’s doing something very cool.

He’s using his celebrity status to try to reduce the stigma of mental illness through his website NKM2.org. For those of you who don’t know what celebrity status can do for…well anything…just look at Twitter (Ashton Kutcher, anyone?). He’s also doing something else that I didn’t expect.

He’s video chatting with the folks: people like you and me who have some history of mental illness (personally I had an anxiety disorder and an internet addiction). Last Saturday he did a live chat where he answered questions, and got really specific about how mental illness affected him, and how he plans to remove the stigma through his documentary.

If you don’t have time to view it, that’s cool, but you’d be missing out. I have a few of his quotes from the chat that I thought were pertinent (shown in italics).

“I had stuff going on in my head that was really bringing me down. I was ashamed of those feelings. Those feelings made me feel like I was being selfish and inadequate. I thought if I could accumulate more things, then maybe that would make these feelings go away. The more I got, the worse I felt.”

I thought this was very cool, because how many times have you said, “If I could just have this, I’d feel better.” Clearly, his experience is case in point that possessions have nothing to do with happiness or mental wellness. You can’t shop your way to feeling better (I’m looking at you, shop-a-holics).

He went on to talk about the documentary he made (No Kidding, Me Too, Premiering in New York on October 19th), about his experiences with AA and how he worked on his emotional state through therapy and 12-Step Programs.

“If you have a mental illness…and you’re not sharing with anyone, you’re going to make yourself sicker.”

This is why therapy is necessary to begin with. Because sometimes, you don’t have someone to talk to about your problems. Without someone there to empathize or understand where you’re coming from, and work with you toward managing your problems, you only have your own head to work out your stuff. Hence why I think he opened up the dialogue about making mental illness cool to talk about. He shared his personal experience, his own trials and how his life has been dramatically improved through use of counseling and medication.

“See that’s the whole point of this, is that I want to share the fact that I got better. I surrendered to the noise in my head. I have solid means to get better.”

I can resonate with this, and that’s why I feel like I’m an expert in Anxiety Management: because I’ve been there with the Panic Attacks and the difficulty breathing, and I found a way to work through it. That method has helped a lot of the people I work with today. Same thing with Internet Addiction. It ate up hours and hours of my life, and I’m currently working on a plan to help people with that too (that doesn’t involve the internet…its harder than it sounds).

Another part about that statement is getting better. I can’t tell you how many therapists talk to me and tell me that their clients are never going to change. How sad is that? The one person who could be a bastion of hope for a client, and even that person doesn’t believe that they’re going to get better. That’s why my approach is all about improving and getting better. Some clients don’t like this, but that’s ok, because perhaps they’re not ready for that change yet.

So what’s the point of this post? The point is that sometimes you need to hear the message from the right messenger in order to hear it right. If this guy, who’s a Hollywood actor, can sit there and talk about his mental illness…

…then what the heck is stopping you?

Are you worried about what people will think? Guess what? You can’t change what people think (unless they’re open to that change). The first step of managing any problem is accepting the fact that you have one. Its ok, everyone has problems from time to time.

But the key is to get the help you need.

“You have an 80% recovery rate with all mental illness…you gotta find a good clinician that will listen to your situation, diagnose you appropriately, and then find a plan to action that you both agree with and get your life back.”

Exactly. I just so happen to be a clinician. You know, in case you’re interested.

Joe is now off doing a NKM2 tour in Iraq and Kuwait to show the movie to the soldiers there, to help them open up about possible mental illness as a result of being in combat. That relates to me too, because Tricare (the health insurance for the Millitary) just put me on the fast track so I can be on their telemedicine program, which allows me to do therapy with troops over video chat.

Can I tell you the geek in me is doing a freaking happy dance over the idea?

He’s not the only one trying to make mental health mainstream. Stop And Think Radio is trying to do a similar thing with recovery and addiction, only they’re doing radio and TV stuff instead (they interviewed a really cool therapist by the way  😉  ).

Anyway, I just thought you might find this interesting, and maybe it will get you to think about starting a discussion as well.

Like down here, for example, in the comments section. Talk to me about what you think, and if you think we can reduce this stigma. What has to happen? Can mental health be cool? Talk to me people.

P.S. – Seriously check out the NKM2 site and the video chat. Informative and entertaining at the same time.

Internet Addiction: The New Carnival

The preacher looking dude above is Howard Beale from the movie “Network,” which I actually have never seen all the way through, but its in my Blockbuster cue. Throughout the film though, he makes a lot of powerful statements about how we percieve our world and how we allow ourselves to be influenced by it.

If you click on his picture, it will take you to a page that has a speech he delivers to people (this happens after his “I’m as mad as hell” speech earlier in the film) both in video and in text format (for people with slow internet like me). Be mindful, because the speech has a couple swears in it.

The idea behind the speech is that he tells the audience and everyone watching, that as a society we allow TV to tell us what to believe and what the truth is. He says:

“Television is not the truth. Television’s a damn amusement park. Television is a circus, a carnival, a traveling troupe of acrobats, storytellers, dancers, singers, jugglers, sideshow freaks, lion tamers, and football players.”

And the internet has become the new Television.

You know what I’m talking about. You sit there on the internet, getting entertained. You go on YouTube for hours on end watching funny videos without even knowing. You go on Facebook or Myspace or Twitter and you want to know what your friends are doing, and how they’re responding to what you’re doing. You’re talking to them online via one of the many chat softwares out there. You’re reading this blog, and probably a few others over the course of the week (like I do) and will likely spend hours doing that as well.

The internet has become the new carnival. Full of its fair share of circus clowns acrobats, scantilly clad ladies and death defying acts.

And if its affecting your life negatively, its one of those evil kinds of Carnivals. You know the really creepy ones like in the movies, where you know something is wrong but you can’t put your finger on it.

Yeah, those kind.

So how do you stop the madness?  Well Howard says, “Turn them off!”

That’s right. Shut the dang computer off and live life. Get the heck out from behind the keyboard and go out there and see life. I talked a bit about this in my interview, but I thought it was a propos for one good reason.

I spent 2 hours today putzing around online.

I got a lot of things done today, don’t get me wrong (cleaned the kitchen, the bedroom, did 3 loads of laundry, and helped my wife with her jewelry business). But I spent more time online than I should have.

Imagine what I could have done with that 2 hours! I have a book that I want to get out the door, and I can’t even take the time to do that.

My point is the same as Howard’s: Get out from behind the monitor and do something with your life. Once you spend your time, you can’t get it back. So before you allow yourself to waste anymore of your life, let me give you a Personal Development Plan for this.

1. Make a list of all the things you wished you could do if you had enough time.

2. Make it a goal to spend only 1/2 hour online. If you can’t do that, then figure out what would be a reasonable time. If going cold turkey works, great! If not, choose to start somewhere and set a goal for yourself.

3. Anytime you feel like spending more than a half hour online, refer to your list and do something from it.

This is just one component of my Internet Addiction model: RAM. The “A” stands for Aversion, meaning do your best to avert yourself from going online. The key to Aversion is giving yourself purpose and finding other things to do with your time rather than wasting it.

So shut the computer off. Seriously. Life is out there waiting for you to live it.

Stop existing. Start Living.

Let me know what you think. I’m all ears!

Am I Crazy? That Depends On Your Definition!

Today’s topic is Mental Illness! And what do we think of when we hear the words Mental Illness?

Usually something like our buddy Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter from the forthcoming Disney remake of Alice In Wonderland. We think of mental illness as something scary, creepy and bad.

 So what do we always do when it comes to things that sound bad? We change it around to make it sound a little better. You know what I’m talking about: the Politically Correct movement of the late 80’s. No one says “retard” anymore (well, teenagers do, but that’s to be expected), they say “developmentally disabled.” No one faults anyone for being developmentally disabled, but you have to admit, that phrase doesn’t instill hope in the future of that person. Another example of this is anything with the word “challenged” after it.

Mental Illness is kind of the same way. I think that Mental Illness is even a politically correct term, to try to make it more acceptable as a legitimate illness, so insurance companies can pay for treatment. No harm there, right?

But then it got me thinking: People who are sick don’t call it “physical illness.” They just say “I’m sick.”

 So I tried that: “I’m Mentally Sick.”

Somehow that didn’t exactly work very well.

On that same note though, no one is physically “well” all the time. Based on that logic, no one is mentally “well” all the time, either. It follows that if everyone has their fair share of physical illness, they also have their fair share of mental illness.

Just like physical illness though, you always have those people who don’t go to the doctor when they need help. Take me for example. I have to be dying to go to the doctor’s office. Generally I can handle whatever comes my way, so I don’t really go that often. Same thing with mental illness. Some people probably can handle theirs a little better than others, and as a result, they don’t go to get help, because its likely they don’t need it as much as some others.

Can anyone tell me what the equivalent of a mental cold is? How about a mental flu? Mental pneumonia?

So if we all have been mentally sick, or how about this, “Mentally Unhealthy”, can we really sit here and continue to give mental illness such a raw deal?

The answer is severity. You got 3 categories – Mild, Moderate and Severe.

Mild Mental Unhealthiness is probably most of us out there. You freak out because your girlfriend is hanging out with her ex. You get depressed when the weather gets cloudy and cold. You obsess a bit about whether or not the guy you met is going to call you.

Moderate Mental Unhealthiness is an issue that significantly affects your everyday life. You can’t stop thinking about your anxiety. Your depression gets you fired from your job. Your obsessions cost you relationship after relationship.

Severe Mental Unhealthiness is what will likely get you hospitalized. This is typified by life and death situations. Anything that can lead to the harm of self or others would be considered here.

See that? A little change in Thinking goes a long way. How we percieve mental illness determines our Emotions about it.

What’s the point? The point is that Mental Illness has a nasty stigma attached to it. The goal is to be Mentally Healthy, just as you would strive to be physically healthy. There’s nothing wrong with addressing mental health, and just like getting tested for cancer or an STD, it can mean the difference between catching something early, or having it affect your life in a dramatic way.

So allow yourself to recognize when you have a bit of Mental Unhealthiness. Its OK, we all have it from time to time.

Other people who are working on removing the stigma of mental illness: NKM2, TherapyDoc, NAMI

Anyone I missed? What do you think? Give me what you got.

If Knowing Is Half The Battle…What’s the Other Half?

This past weekend I went to see G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra with my brother. We grew up playing with G.I. Joe figures, and watched the TV show religiously. If you watched the show, you would know that they did  little public service announcements at the end of the show, giving you safety tips and other helpful information. At the end, the kid helped by said G.I. Joe would say “that’s good to know.” The G.I. Joe character would say, “And knowing is half the battle.”

They even used this in the movie, as sort of a shout out to those who watched the TV show. It just seemed so out of sorts, and kind of forced, that it got me thinking about the phrase itself.

Then I thought, “If knowing is half the battle, what’s the other half?”

It hit me like a ton of bricks: Doing

Knowing is the stuff you think about everyday – your Thoughts (the T in the WATER Method). You’ve heard the old expression, Knowledge is Power, right? Someone recently modified that to say, “the application of knowledge is power.” (Bonus points to anyone who can tell me who this is a quote from) This is what I’m talking about here.

Any of the tips I give you here are useless and meaningless without the application of that knowledge. Let me give you an example.

I was watching another movie, this time with my wife called, “Pushing 40” and it was about how Heather Locklear meets this really cool surfer dude in Hawaii that is about 23 years younger than her. He struts onto the screen, with an 8-pack for a stomach and in great shape.

“I wish I looked like that!” I said to my wife, who quickly responded, “I wish you looked like that too.” At that point, my dog started telling me that she needed to go outside, so I leashed her up and headed outside.

As I looked at the sky and thought about what I had just said. Then it dawned on me:

I didn’t want to look like that guy. If I did I would do something about it. Sure, I knew what I had to do to look like that guy, but was I willing to do it? Nope. I didn’t want to work hard to get that body, I wanted it to magically be given to me without any work.

That’s what I’m talking about here. Knowing is half the battle. Doing is the other half. If you know what you want, and know how to get it, but you don’t take any Action on that knowledge, then knowing is only half the Result as well.

I guess what I’m challenging you to do today is consider the other half. If you know how to get what you want, and you’re not doing anything to get it…well, then what are you doing? Take Action on that knowledge and change your life. Challenge yourself every day to act on the knowledge you have.

It doesn’t have to be just an idea, but I can’t do anything more than give you the first half. You gotta pick up the other half and do something about it. If you’re not sure how to act on that other half, that’s OK, shoot me a brief comment here and I’ll see what I can do to help you come up with a plan.

What do you think? Tell me your stories of how you took action and improved your life. Talk to me.

Taking Problems To The Dump

My wife and I have been cleaning our house as of late, because we’re a little sick and tired of not having enough space to do what we want to do with our home. We were initially looking for a dumpster, but in an effort to be penny pinching, budget conscious do-gooders, we managed to find a company that brought a dump truck. Perfect! We could just throw it all in there in one day and they could just haul it out no problem. They even were sending two guys to help us get rid of our crap, so it sounded like a good deal.

There’s just one catch: They can only take up to Two Tons of stuff. Alright, I have a lot of crap, but two tons? No way!

So they show up bright and early and we were ready for them. We had a lifetime supply of cardboard to get rid of. All they had to do was back up the truck and start loading.

Then something funny happened. They started running out of room. And the truck was only full of cardboard boxes. No furniture or other mindless heavy stuff…just cardboard.

I started thinking that if I had just been on top of this cardboard, and you know, recycled it like I had planned, I wouldn’t have to choose which trash I could throw out, and which I couldn’t.

We then had to decide what we were going to dump! So much for two tons! We opted to throw them a toilet that we replaced, a roll of chicken wire from the tile flooring that the previous owner covered the hard wood floor with (yeah, I know, stupid, right?), some furniture that just didn’t work, an ancient air conditioner and a few other things.

So we still have some of that cardboard in our basement, and we’re hoping to get rid of it by the end of the summer (if we’re lucky)

The guys were done in a half hour, and took almost all of our crap away. I felt satisfied, despite not getting rid of everything.

What the heck does this have to do with anything?

I couldn’t have called a plumber to haul away my trash. I could have asked my family to do it for me, and they might have helped. I could have gone to the dump with all that and paid more than what I paid these guys to take care of it. However, it probably wouldn’t have been done properly, and it could have been at greater cost. I could also have just left that trash sitting there in the basement, and done nothing about it.

Dumping problems on people is kind of like dumping trash. Sometimes people dump their problems on their friends, family, significant others, co-workers…you name it. But is it getting the job done, and done right?

If you’re the dumper, you might feel better after dumping, but you may not have the tools you need to manage it. If you’re the dumpee, you’re probably wondering why this person isn’t seeking professional help to manage their problems. My question exactly.

We all have problems, and we have to be selective about who we dump our problems on. So here are some suggestions:

1. Pick your dump: Make sure your dumpee can handle the load, because it may already be overflowing with their trash (issues). Find yourself someone who has the room to take what you’re dumping (therapists are a good pick for this, but you knew that already).

2. Make sure there is a mutual exchange of dumping: Give as good as you get. This helps you and that person share the load of problems together. If the dumping is imbalanced, one side will likely start looking for new friends or new dumping grounds. Make sure you set boundaries with your dumper as well, so you can make sure you’re not taken advantage of.

3. Don’t wait too long to dump: If you store up your issues too long, you may end up having more than you can handle. Worse yet, you may have more than your friends/family can handle as well.

4. Know when you need a bigger dump and hired muscle: If your friends don’t know how to help you, then it may be time for you to find a therapist that can help you through issues like this.

I look at therapy as the biggest dumping ground for issues. You come to me, you bring me your unwanted issues, and you leave them in my office. Then my magic fairies come and make those issues disappear. OK, maybe not, but the idea is to not take the problems with you.

Dumping your mental and emotional garbage is healthy, but it must be done appropriately. Be careful or you may end up wishing you had dealt with those issues sooner so they didn’t pile up (like a basement full of cardboard). Comments welcome!

What If I Can’t Change? aka Are You A Leopard?

People say that Leopards can’t change their spots. Some people also say that they can’t change themselves.

Since this blog is all about what you can and can’t change, let me give you an example of what I think is something you can’t change.

Recently I’ve been trying to get internet back at the house. Yes, I know that in my prior blog post about shutting off the internet I talked about how wonderful it was. Then my wife and I decided that we could run my business and her business so much better if we had internet back at the house. I could be available for online sessions and all that, and still have our relationship be fantastically amazing.

Just so you know, I had a pretty bad experience with my cable company, and as a result, I wanted to do something different. So I call up Verizon to see if I can get DSL at my house. It turns out that I am “too far away” from a Verizon plant (or something like that) and it seems that they don’t offer DSL here. I can’t even get internet through Direct TV with them.

I try another company. And another. Nada. Zilch. Nothing.

It seems that the only company I can get for High Speed internet, is the same cable company I didn’t want to do business with. It seems they have a monopoly on my city, and it didn’t matter if I wanted to do business with someone else, I couldn’t.

That is an example of something you can’t change.

However, as Hitch would say “You, is a fluid concept right now.”

So let’s figure out how you got to thinking you couldn’t change, shall we? Think about your life for a minute. Well, OK, maybe longer than that, but think about the major events in your life and what happened as a result of them. Think about the way you were raised and the model for behavior and rules that your parents set up for you. Either way, someone somewhere told you that you couldn’t change. Maybe it was you, maybe it was your parents or your significant other. Someone told you this, and this really comes down to the Words portion of the WATER Method. Specifically, WTA: Words, Thoughts, Actions.

See, Words are what we tell ourselves about ourselves. So no matter who told you that you couldn’t change, somewhere you decided to believe them. This eventually affects your thinking, or Thoughts, and as a result, you stopped telling yourself that you couldn’t change, and just started believing it. After this, your Actions are affected by your Thoughts, even if those Actions cause things to happen that you don’t want.

But even though those things keep happening, you keep telling yourself “I can’t change.”

Hogwash. You can change, but its likely one of a few things are going on. Either you’re afraid to change, you don’t want to, or you don’t believe you can. There is always something that can change, but you have to have the strength, courage or faith in your ability to do so.

“Yeah, but how do I get those things? If I don’t have them, I technically can’t change.”

Right you are. So here are some tips to help you get more accustomed to the idea of change:

1. Think about what you want to change. Think about what your life would be like if you could change. You need something to aim for in order to change, find that thing.

2. Realize that change takes time and work. If it were easy, everyone would change all the time. Its not, so its hard. Guess what? Life is hard. So is change. You want to change, its going to take some work.

3. If you can change your clothes, your shoes, your underwear, or your socks, you can change your behavior. You have to believe that change is possible, so put it into simpler terms if you must. Heck, break it down into easy baby steps so it doesn’t seem so dramatic.

For a country that was so hellbent on “Change You Can Believe In” and “Yes We Can”, I’m amazed at how many people say: No I Can’t. I guess its easier to vote for a new president than it is to change your own life.

Am I calling you out? Yes I am. Why? Because you want to change. I know you do.

In the words of the now immortal Michael Jackson: “I’m looking at the man in the mirror; I’m asking him to change his ways; and no message could have been any clearer; if you want to make the world a better place take a look at yourself and make that change!” – Man In The Mirror

Are you going to be a leopard? Maybe its time you changed your spots.

How Do I Let Things Go?

One day I was going to go hang out with a friend of mine, and I was fuming mad. I think my wife had said something to me, and then full circle, told me that she wanted the exact opposite (you guys out there probably know what I mean) or something like that. So I went to the mall, and met him at the food court.

“Hey, man. How’s it goin?” He asked, expecting my usual, “I’m doing well, thank you.”

“Pissed.” I said.

He asked me what was up and I laid it out to him. All the fury and the anger came out at that time (this was about 4 years ago).  I couldn’t believe how angry I was about the problem, and despite my best memory, I can’t to this day remember what I was so mad about.

Then my friend smiles at me and hands me a pen. He said “Hold on to that pen as hard as you can.” I gave him a funny look but I did what he asked.

Then he said, “Now, imagine that the pen is your anger, and you can hold onto that pen as long and as hard as you like, right? But what if you wanted to let it go, would you let it go? If you wanted to let it go, when would you?”

He then told me that my anger was a lot like that pen. I could let go of it whenever I wanted, and that all I had to do was decide that I wanted to let it go. It seemed too simple! I mean, what about the thing I was angry about? It hasn’t resolved itself!

But then I thought: what if it never does? Am I going to choose to be angry at my wife until we resolve the issue (we resolved shortly after this event, hence why I can’t remember why I was so mad). I had to decide what I wanted, and whether I wanted to be angry or not.  

So I dropped the pen. I decided to feel better.

Now for a lot of you, that probably sounds really stupid. You’re probably thinking to yourself, its not that easy is it?

Well, go get yourself a pen, and try it. Imagine that the pen is whatever emotion you’re feeling. Do you want to let that emotion go? Would you if you could? When would you?

I guess the point to all this, is that you can let it go, because I’m a firm believer in your ability to control your emotions. If you want to know how, check out my post titled Want To Change How You Feel? Change How You Think! That’s a good place to start. Also, consider The Water Method, and decide if this is something you can or can’t change. Sure you have feelings about things you can’t change, but that doesn’t mean they have to affect what you can change. If your feelings are about what someone else is doing or has done, talk to them about it (preferably somewhere public so you speak in civilized tones), and try to get some resolution about the issue at hand.

Hey, I could do it and I was ripping mad. You can do it too. Just drop the pen.

Internet Addiction: The Next Great Dilemma?

OK, so I’m totally going to cop out today and post my interview from Stop and Think Radio & TV, because I could write about this all I want, but I think its nice to do a visual thing every now and then. I think internet addiction is becoming more and more widespread as time goes on, and apparently they seem to think I’m an expert on it. You be the judge!

Are you addicted to the internet? There’s a test you can take online to determine whether or not you are. As far as statistics go, I said you could Google Internet Addiction Statistics and find them. Here’s what I found: 

 (From Websense) “The survey, which was conducted by Harris Interactive across a swath of 305 employees, determined that the average worker spends more than one entire workday each week surfing Web sites that are not work-related.”

(From Stamford University) “The researchers found that 68.9 percent were regular Internet users, which is consistent with previous studies, and that:

• 13.7 percent (more than one out of eight respondents) found it hard to stay away from the Internet for several days at a time
• 12.4 percent stayed online longer than intended very often or often
• 12.3 percent had seen a need to cut back on Internet use at some point
• 8.7 percent attempted to conceal non-essential Internet use from family, friends and employers
• 8.2 percent used the Internet as a way to escape problems or relieve negative mood
• 5.9 percent felt their relationships suffered as a result of excessive Internet use

Among those polled, 67 percent confessed to visiting Web sites for personal reasons. Compulsive workplace shoppers claimed 24 percent of those polled. News junkies came in second at 23 percent, pornography hounds at 18 percent, gambling at 8 percent, and auctions at 6 percent.”

So it seems as though Internet Addiction is a big problem. How do we fix it? More on that later on this week. In the meantime, check out my interview and let me know what you think!

Managing Anxiety and Depression: Being Grateful

Everything’s Amazing, and We’re Still Unhappy.

The guy you’re looking at above is a comedian named Louis CK, and if you click on the pic above you’ll get sent to NBC’s website, and the video that this blog is about. So go check it out and then come back (and don’t get sidetracked watching more movies  :).  )

OK, so basically Louis goes on a rant about how everything is amazing, and yet, no one is happy. Despite the fact that this show was done almost a year ago, this actually holds true for today. Think about all the stuff we have: iPhones, personal vehicles, computers, high speed internet, plane flight, and all the other ammenities we have. We’re still unhappy aren’t we. He calls this generation “the crappiest generation of spoiled idiots.”

Are you in this category? I know I am from time to time. Complaining about how slow my internet is; or how long I have to wait in traffic; or how annoying my Blackberry can be from time to time. Sometimes I snap myself out of it, and realize that I actually HAVE a Blackberry, and I remember a time when I didn’t have it, and suddenly I’m thankful for it.

So how do we ensure that we’re not a bunch of spoiled idiots? By being thankful for what we have, and being patient with what’s to come. How do we do that? First, think about how much we complain about how things aren’t going our way, or how we are so annoyed with things not going as fast as we’d like. We don’t even take into account the idea that the world really doesn’t revolve around us or our time schedule. Seriously think about what you take for granted, and write them down if you have to so you can remind yourself about what you have . Bear in mind, these do not have to be materialistic…they can be family, friends, pets, and other greatness in your life.

Second, use this list to counter any thoughts of self-pity when you think about what you don’t have. Seriously, life could be so much worse for you, and sometimes you need to take these ideas into consideration in order to change your state about your life. So many times I’ve run into people with depression who had a lot, but because certain exceptions or conditions weren’t met in their life, they feel as though they’re a failure, or that life isn’t good for them. I usually encourage them to think about what they have and what’s good about their life. By changing your perception of your life, you can change your feelings about your life as well.

This isn’t anything new. The Secret goes into this kind of thing with the Law of Attraction. Now I’m not a big Law of Attraction nut, because I think you get what you get by working hard, not by asking Santa Claus for it and wishing really hard. But being grateful for what you have is an idea that’s older than that: A La Counting Your Blessings (for the Christian readers, this is along the lines of Phillipians 4:8).

I guess my bottom line is, if you can use what you have as a way to take your focus off what you don’t, then you may end up being happier in the long run. Don’t wait for someone else to make you happy, find the areas in your life that are already good, and  think about that stuff. Comment welcome.